Gila Monsters and Aardvarks
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I’ve recently engaged in some low-key research on Gila Monsters and Aardvarks. The two creatures have nothing to do with one another. In fact there is very little foundation for my research. I remember when I was in the fourth grade I wanted to live in Arizona and I did some old-school research (at the library) about the State. Gila Monsters looked cool except for if they bite your leg it is highly likely your leg will have to be amputated. Again, I just thought they looked cool. Kind of like a 1984 Z28 Camaro. They still look cool, but I’m not going to grow a mullet, by a Camaro, move to Arizona and cruise around looking for Gila Monsters. I value my legs too much.
As far as aardvarks are concerned I have determined one thing and one thing only. They are ugly bastards. But in a cute sort of way. They can’t help it, they are born looking like that. I am quite sure that male aardvarks chase the females the same way human men chase their lovely counterparts. The males get drunk off a fresh batch of termites who have recently fed on green-treated wood at a construction site and they go to the local refuge burrows looking for a short-snouted lady who has a keen taste for soldier ants and knows where all the good hiding spots are for when the leopards are hunting.
One advantage male aardvarks have over human men is they never have to worry about their women screaming when they see a bug in the house (burrow). The female aardvark just whips her tongue out and eats the helpless critter.
Matty out
September 23, 2009 at 5:23 pm
you never cease to amaze me !!!!!!!!!